Acharei Mot-Kedoshim: Judging Between the Torah and a Podcast

It's funny sometimes, what comes out of your mouth. Do you know what I mean? You think you're going to answer a question one way, but then you hear yourself say something entirely different. Or you're asked to respond quickly to a question, and the reply surprises even you. 

This happens to us occasionally, and I think it's an opportunity to introspect, and hopefully understand ourselves a little bit better. This was my experience earlier this week. You may have already seen me post about this on Facebook, but on Tuesday I was a guest "expert" on Dan Savage's podcast (radio show), "The Savage Lovecast." Dan Savage is an activist, writer, media pundit, and journalist, and he puts out a weekly podcast with relationship and sex advice. Not, perhaps, the obvious place to hear a rabbi weigh in, but I'm a big fan of his show. It's a really well-done podcast, and Dan Savage deals with human sexuality - and MANY other topics - in a way that you simply don't hear anywhere else. And he invited me on the show to comment on a call from a Jewish listener.

The details of the call aren't my focus here. What I wanted to unpack with you on the blog were some of the things I, myself, said! The show was recorded ONE day after I received the invitation, so I was still only processing that I would be on the air at all; I was pleasantly surprised to discover I spoke in coherent sentences! When I eventually listened to the podcast, days later, I found that I had chosen to speak about judgment in the Torah. Despite all its "Thou shalt's" and "Thou shalt not's," I actually 
think the Torah is a pretty accepting document. It's sometimes facetious, even playful, in the midst of laying down the law(s) that we must live by. I'll admit, it can be hard to see it, but I feel quite certain it's there, hidden in the text. Let me give you an example: When, in this week's parashah, we are told NOT to worship idols, it sounds so simple and straightforward. But it's not the only time we hear this commandment. It is repeated over and over, throughout the Torah and into the books of the Prophets. Soon you start to realize, no one is listening to, or abiding by, this rule! You hear something once, and it's a law. You hear it SEVEN times, and now you realize it's a law being ignored...

What I said to Dan Savage was, the Torah is not such a black-or-white document. We pretend it's a book of rules, with clear guidelines and parameters for behavior, but it really isn't. 

One minute it tells you that preserving life - pikuach nefesh - is the single MOST important law... then it tells you to stone someone to death if they break a commandment! The Torah is not a law code; it's a document about humanity. It depicts our heroes, like Abraham, Jacob, and Moses, as really flawed individuals, and sometimes portrays our enemies (Esau, Bilaam) as decent guys. It puts forth a lot of suspect behavior (for example, in the realm of sex, which is how it came up in conversation with Dan Savage), and doesn't necessarily tell us how to feel about it. Some things just ARE; we are the ones who add judgment, labels, bias, and prejudice.

So how do we push ourselves in the opposite direction? Towards greater acceptance? Perhaps we can redefine some of our standards. The second half of this week's Torah portion is called "Kedoshim," meaning "holy": "Kedoshim tihyu," "You shall be holy" (Lev. 19:2). What does it mean 

to be holy? I think we need to move away from the standard understanding, which focuses solely on law-abiding, prudent, keeping-up-appearances type behavior. What about integrity and honesty? Staying true to ourselves and our internal moral compass? The ancient prophets and rabbis understood this, and they railed against hollow practices, where people superficially observed the rules, but did so without passion, commitment, or intentionality. There is a way to marry these two issues - being holy in God's eyes AND in our own. But the answer is unique to each one of us; you have to find that balance for YOURSELF, just as I need to find it for me. We can, however, start by letting go of judgment and guilt. Let go of it in yourself, and stop ascribing it to the text of our ancient tradition! If you open your eyes, truly, you'll see that the Torah isn't judging our behavior. It's hard to believe, I know. But it really isn't. So, why should we?

Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of Magnus Manske on Wikimedia Commons
2. CC image courtesy of Oren neu dag on Wikimedia Commons
3. CC image courtesy of Herostratus on Wikimedia Commons
4. CC image courtesy of Rocket000 on Wikimedia Commons