Acharei Mot: Important Accidental Lessons

I apologize for not writing a blog post last week. I had every intention of writing one, but I think you'll see in a minute why it just didn't happen. Nevertheless, I'm sorry. Thanks for your understanding; enjoy this week's post, which is partially what I was going to write a week ago anyway!

Last week, I was in a car accident. That's probably not the best lead-in to sharing that information, but I don't really like to beat around the bush. Long story short: On Monday, I was exhausted after driving home from a wedding in New York, 

and dozed off driving to the synagogue for a meeting. I hit a rock and a pole, but thankfully no one else was in the car, and no one else was injured. The car's a bit beat-up, though hopefully fixable, and even though my steering wheel airbag deployed, I'm doing pretty well. Minor headaches, but they've mostly passed by now. In the wake of a pretty scary accident, I find myself taking stock and really experiencing a lot of gratitude for life's gifts that we often otherwise take for granted.

First of all, I'm VERY grateful it wasn't any worse. It happened on a small, neighborhood street, I wasn't going very fast, I didn't veer into traffic, I didn't do any damage, I didn't hit anyone (thank God!), and no one else was in the car. Even the weather was nice that day! Second, I'm very grateful for kind people who are willing to help out. Andy Albert, 

whom some of you know, was driving by at that very moment, and not only stopped to help, but stayed with me for over an hour. And Marcy and Irv Beerson, who happened to live just next to where my accident occurred, were also incredibly helpful, both at the time of the accident and later with the towing of my poor, little car. And Bonnie Breit very graciously drove me to the ER that evening, and has been a tremendous support throughout. I feel very blessed to be a part of this wonderful community, and to everyone who has reached out since the accident; I thank you all for your concern and encouragement. (And I also appreciate your sharing your own accident stories; it makes me feel less embarrassed...)

When I was going to write about the accident last week, I thought of something I wanted to connect it to in the Torah portion. The wedding we were returning from in New York was my sister-in-law's, and her new husband (whose name, incredibly, is ALSO Jeremy!) gave a little teaching right before the ceremony 

at the Groom's Tisch. The parashah last Shabbat was a weird one, about skin diseases and mold on the walls of people's homes, and all these maladies had to be examined and inspected by the ancient High Priest. But my new brother-in-law offered a terrific little insight on the role of the High Priest, saying: '[sometimes] other people are better able to perceive afflictions and imperfections than the person himself.' Last Monday, I ignored an awful lot of signs that I was too tired to drive, including other people trying to warn me. We're often overly self-reliant, and we're 100% positive that we know ourselves best. But sometimes other people have insightful things to say, and good observations that we're perhaps too subjective to see on our own. 

And this week's reading begins by reminding us of the death of Aaron's two sons, which we read about a few weeks ago. God gives Moses a series of instructions to convey to Aaron, specifically in the wake of this 

tragedy, perhaps to structure his time. It gives him other things to focus on, rather than the chaos of pain, loss, and grief. Now, I'm certainly not comparing my (relatively) minor car accident with Aaron's indescribable loss. I simply mean to point out the importance of leaning on other people. Not only are we overly self-reliant, but we also try to 'go it alone,' and recover quietly without anyone else's help. Perhaps it's just me, but I imagine this rings true for at least some of you as well. It's not easy to be vulnerable, to admit limitations, or to have flaws and mistakes be witnessed so publicly. But it's also a good lesson in humility. 

Sometimes things just happen that allow us to take a moment and feel grateful. I would have preferred to receive my lesson a bit less dramatically of course, but looking back, I appreciate the lesson nonetheless. Today, I feel very grateful and blessed, and yes, even lucky. And I thank God for giving me the opportunity and the ability to learn those precious lessons.

Photos in this blog post:

1. CC image courtesy of Arpingstone on Wikimedia Commons (Yes, this did happen in my car. No, this is not a picture FROM my car.)

2. CC image courtesy of Tom Harpel on Wikimedia Commons (Nope, still not my car.)

3. CC image courtesy of Google Cultural Institute on Wikimedia Commons (Not from the wedding I performed in New York, sorry.)

4. CC image courtesy of Frederick Walker on Wikimedia Commons