I really don't like writing about the same things year after year. Some Torah portions have prominent stories that lend themselves particularly well to interpretation and commentary, but I get tired of focusing on the same stuff over and over. I like searching for fresh angles and new insights, different ways of looking at the same text. Sometimes, however, a new insight finds me.
One of this week's big stories deals with the law of the stubborn and rebellious child. According to our parasha, if a set of parents have a defiant son, described as a glutton and a drunkard who does not heed their words, they should bring him to the city gates for a public trial. There, if he is found guilty, "the men of his town shall stone him to death" (Deuteronomy 21:21). The Bible concludes this disturbing instruction by informing us that, "Thus you will sweep out evil from your midst: all Israel will hear and be afraid." This teaching has always troubled me, as I'm sure it does you. The rabbis try to mitigate the severity of this law by limiting its applicability; declaring ultimately that no child could be liable for this sentence. Of course, that only makes me feel slightly better; I've still always been appalled that the Torah could ever suggest this type of punishment in the first place. But this week, I gained a new perspective on this teaching.
As some of you already know, during the past week at Ohev Shalom we held a memorial service for a 21-year old young man who died tragically and suddenly. It was, and is, a horrific situation, and the more I learned about this individual and his family, the more upset I became. There are no answers to a tragedy like this one, no explanations or excuses that will make us feel alright with the world for allowing this to happen. And there were many things that were also heart-breaking about the struggles and challenges that he faced his entire life. But what dawned on me in thinking about our Torah reading, is that his parents never, never gave up on him. It was terribly sad, yet somehow also beautiful, that throughout all his difficulties, everything he had to face and which he sometimes couldn't beat, his parents were his greatest cheerleaders. They were proud of him, they encouraged him, they did everything humanly possible for him, and even when it became clear that it wasn't enough, they never stopped trying.
Unlike our Torah portion, the memorial service this week taught me about how unconditional and endless love can be. Our parasha talks about giving up, but sometimes love reminds us not to. When we get to the High Holidays in a few weeks, we will once again focus on teshuva, on repentance and forgiveness. We remind ourselves that God never gives up on us; that God waits till the very last moment - and sometimes even beyond - to let the repentant sinner turn around and be forgiven. If God can do it, so must we. I am once again bolstered in my rejection of this law of the stubborn and wayward child. This week, in the midst of tragedy and heart-wrenching grief, I learned a valuable lesson about the endless power of love.
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