They don’t line up every year, but once in a while it happens: The Clash of
the Titans! At the
end of this month, the two “biggest” holidays on the Jewish and Christian
calendar will fall at the same time - Chanukah begins on Sunday night, December
22nd, and two days later, it’s Christmas Eve. Not only that, but Chanukah ends
on December 30th, one day before New Year’s Eve, so this year we’re “battling”
a major secular (Gregorian) holiday as well! War of the Winter-festivals indeed…
It feels like this sometimes, doesn’t it? Like some people imagine our
holidays are pitted against one another, somehow in conflict because they fall at the same time. Jews will often roll their eyes
and point out that Chanukah isn’t our #1 holiday; it isn’t even in the top
tier! Ironically, religious Christians will roll their eyes right back at us,
and point out that Easter is actually a much more significant holiday to them
as well. So much for the Duke-Out in December…
But I think what bothers me even more than feeling
misunderstood, more than having to explain year after year that Chanukah is NOT
a focal point of the Hebrew calendar, is the unfortunate idea of the two
“clashing.” I know that for some interfaith
families, celebrating both CAN present
additional challenges… but luckily Chanukah is eight days long, so you don’t
necessarily HAVE TO observe both on the same day. Or - heaven forbid - what if
an interfaith family brought a Menorah to Christmas dinner, and lit candles and
sang the blessings AT THE SAME OCCASION?!?!
My point is, even though the High Holidays (our
ACTUAL main observances…) are far behind us, I hope we can all hold onto a
notion I shared, namely being “Jewish and…” We are not in conflict; no one
needs to “win,” because there’s no real dispute. I much prefer the image of a children’s
birthday party: When we explain to children (or adults) about Christmas and
Chanukah (and Diwali, and Kwanzaa, and…), we can describe it like attending
someone else’s birthday party. We all sing, don’t we? We wear party hats (if that’s
still a thing), give presents, and send birthday cards. I can celebrate, even though it’s not MY birthday! No one imagines that attending
someone else’s milestone celebration undermines one’s own!! So why might we feel so
besieged by our neighbors throwing
(essentially) a serious birthday bash?
“Jewish and” can sometimes be difficult. Our gut
instinct tells us to defend and protect, to not give an inch! But practicing
“Jewish and” might instead yield a stronger self-confidence in our own
traditions. An ability to say “Merry Christmas” to someone, without worrying
they might think you are therefore a co-celebrant, or that your holiday doesn’t
matter. Ultimately, we are not in battle at all. We’re all just
slightly-chilled homo sapiens, spreading some light and warmth at a
particularly dark and cold time of the year. We just use different imagery to
do so, and we sing slightly different songs. Oh, and the party favors look
pretty different too!
Sincerely,
Rabbi Gerber
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