"Ben Zoma taught: Who is wise? One who learns from all people." (Pirket Avot, 4:1)
Do you know what the most important word is in that quote? In that first teaching from the fourth chapter of a 2,000 year old rabbinic text, called Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of Our Ancestors? The word "all." I say that because learning from ALL people is tough. It's (relatively) easy to learn when you're in an educational space, like a classroom, with a teacher, speaking on a subject that interests you and/or is important, at a time when you're expecting to learn. But learning from *all* people, potentially at *all* times, in *all* spaces in which we may find ourselves?? That's quite a bit more challenging. When we're stressed at the grocery store, or arguing with someone on Facebook, or feeling under the weather at work, or running to catch a train - these are not moments where we want to learn *anything.* And yet, some of life's greatest insights come precisely at such times, in just those situations. So how can we be open to learning; right there and right then?
Our Torah portion offers us an interesting take on this question. The Israelites are in the desert. Egypt is behind them, Pharaoh has been vanquished, but the Promised Land is decades away in the future. Life in the desert, and the business of forming a functioning community, consumes their everyday lives. Moses has shifted his role from Warrior Prophet, going toe-to-toe with Pharaoh, to Community Organizer Prophet, trying to resolve disputes and organize logistics. It is into this new environment that Moses welcomes a visitor. His father-in-law, Jethro, brings Moses' wife, Zipporah, and their two sons, Gershom and Eliezer, for a visit. (Side note: Between the lines of the text, we sense that Moses is removed from the life of his family. He is fully-focused on the task of leading the Israelites... but therefore has no time, energy, or emotional space for his wife and sons. It is a heart-breaking aside, about which the Torah text itself has very little to say...) Jethro does not like what he sees.
For a moment, we see the Israelites from an outsider perspective. Jethro observes Moses holding court, with every, single, petty, mundane issue that any Israelite wants to bring up being brought before him. Moses, alone, is resolving *every* issue. Jethro is horrified. "What (the heck) are you doing?!?" (only a slight paraphrase of Ex. 18:14) He advises Moses that this is unsustainable. "You will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well. For the task is too heavy for you to do alone." (18:18) Now, on the one hand, you might not think this is a good example of learning from "all" people, because it's Moses' father-in-law. But he's a Midianite, an outsider. And an idolatrous priest, no less!! He missed all the action in Egypt, including the plagues and the splitting of the sea, and he has never dealt with anything like what Moses is taking on. So why does Moses listen to him, and immediately reorganize their entire judicial system based on Jethro's advice?
Perhaps because we sometimes need an outside perspective. Moses couldn't handle any more Israelite kvetching! If one of them had suggested the change, he would have dug his heels in. Even while feeling stressed and overwhelmed by this task, and even in the harsh (in more ways than one...) climate of the desert, Moses was able to hear his father-in-law, and adjust his communal structure accordingly. Sometimes I think our first reaction to feedback, "constructive criticism," or even just friendly advice is to get defensive and indignant. "I know best!" When in reality, an unbiased opinion can be truly invaluable. It requires humility, a minimizing of one's ego, and an openness and a vulnerability that is hard for many of us to fathom, let alone embody! And yet, it is a crucial skill to cultivate, because it really is a sign of wisdom. Everyone can be our teacher; from 2 year olds to 102 year olds, from animals to inanimate objects, friends, foes, and everything in between. Expand your all, and I think you'll find there is great wisdom and understanding hiding underneath.
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