Sometimes we need to be reminded of our history. It may not always feel like it, but it's good to remember where you came from; what you
were like as a child, as a teenager, in college, as a young parent, etc., etc. We work pretty hard in life to grow, evolve, mature, and move away from the antics of our youth, but that doesn't mean we should forget the past. In fact, the only way to really move forward is to bring the past with you; to learn from it and allow it to inform future decisions. Nevertheless, sometimes it seems easier to leave the past behind. It can even feel embarrassing to be reminded of ourselves as children, now that we're trying to be "real" adults. Three things are bringing this issue to the forefront of my mind. The first is a declaration at the start of our Torah portion this week... and the second is that my sister is coming to visit!
I don't write about family here too often. I've talked about my daughter from time to time, but otherwise mainly just quoted a family member here or there. Both of my siblings - my older brother, Benjamin, and my younger sister, Nomi - live in Sweden, so it's really a rare treat when I get to see them. In fact, this will
be Nomi's first visit to Wallingford! On this exciting occasion of her visit, I know that I will feel torn between who I was and who I am; the man who's been a rabbi for six years and the child inside who used to run around in our local park and play pretend. Family members knew us when. They have inside information that both creates intimacy and makes us feel vulnerable. But it is really SO vital for us to remain in touch with that side of ourselves. It allows us to feel human and humble, which we honestly so desperately need. Believe it or not, that sense of humility connects us back to parashat Ki Tavo, towards the end of the Book of Deuteronomy.
Moses is speaking to the Israelites as they are on the verge of entering the Promised Land. He urges them not to forget their modest beginnings when they eventually enter the land and become a powerful nation. "When you enter the land that Adonai, your God, is giving you as a heritage, and you possess it and settle in it... you shall then recite as follows before Adonai, your God: 'My father was a fugitive Aramean.
He went down to Egypt with meager numbers and sojourned there; but there he became a great and very populous nation.'" (Deut. 26:1, 5) Don't forget how you started out! It will make you arrogant, conceited, and - most importantly - indifferent to the plight of others. And it applies to you and me today as well: If you become a big and powerful CEO of a company, be kind to the little guy at the bottom, for you were once him. If your family has been settled and comfortable in a place for four generations, don't turn your back on the immigrants and refugees, just because you no longer remember what that was like. Their story is yours, and you are forbidden from forgetting that!
Earlier in this blog post I said that THREE things are making me think about the past - and specifically how it informs the present and future - but I only articulated two. The third is the month of Elul, which is rapidly turning over into the High Holiday
season itself. This Saturday night we hold the Selichot service, which REALLY makes it clear that Rosh Hashanah is here! And Elul is a month of reflection and introspection. Though we actually cannot go through this process entirely alone. Family can help us remember things from yesteryear, which are essential pieces of the puzzle that help us feel whole. On the High Holidays we have services called Zichronot (remembrances), Eileh Ezkerah (These I remember), and Yizkor (Remember). Clearly, our history is essential for helping us repent and change! We need to connect to our origins in order to grow. Whether through family, the Torah, or the holiday season, I hope that you will think about how to connect the past to your own present AND future, and explore ways to keep them all connected in your own life.
Photos in this blog post:
1. My siblings and me when our family lived in Jerusalem for a year. I'm the one in the funky green sweater on the right!
2. A family picture from summer camp. I'm in the center of the photo, in the white T-shirt.
3. CC image of Moses speaking to the Children of Israel courtesy of Dauster on Wikimedia Commons
4. Sitting on a swing with my dad. Ah, memories...
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