Vayikra: Sorry IF I Misled You

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." We hear this a lot. We say this to one another. It sounds like a sincere and genuine apology, for whatever might have offended. But it is not. Look at it again. 

"I'm sorry IF I hurt you." I'm not really taking responsibility for the offense; just acknowledging that you, the recipient, might have perceived offense, and if so - not definitely so, but IF so - then (I suppose) I apologize. We may not intend it that way, but it can still come across as such. How about, "I'm sorry THAT I hurt you," admitting that pain was, indeed, caused. Or perhaps even more simply, "I'm sorry." This week, we are thinking about whether our leaders can do this. Can they be repentant, can they acknowledge fault, and can they be vulnerable in public? And don't we NEED our leaders to have this ability?

We read the Torah portion of Vayikra, the very beginning of the third book of the Torah, Leviticus. I was reading a wonderful Torah commentary by Rabbi Shai Held, a former teacher of mine, entitled "The Fall and Rise of Great Leaders; Or: What Kind of Leader Do We 

Need?" In it, Rabbi Held focuses on a particular word in our parashah that speaks to our expectations of leadership, communally, religiously, and nationally. The text lists a series of sins that might be committed, and for each scenario uses the word "If" (Im, in Hebrew); e.g. "If x person sins" or "if y person sins," thus and such will happen. And then, all of a sudden, in Lev. 4:22, the text talks about the "Nasi," the chieftain, president, or prime minister, and it says "Asher" rather than "Im." It may be just a synonym - both words meaning "if" - but many rabbinic commentators see something else going. Perhaps it's just a slight rewording, meaning "in case." But it might also mean "when." In other words, it's not a question of IF our leaders will commit offenses, it's only a matter of time...

This may just seem cynical, but I think it's actually a really crucial point: How do our leaders behave when they mess up, and does it tell us A LOT about them in other situations as well? Or as Rabbi Held indicates: "The path fallen leaders choose... has vast implications not only for the leaders themselves but also for the entire society they lead." Rabbi Held quotes one 

of the greatest early rabbis, Yochanan ben Zakkai (YbZ), who ties the word "Asher" to the word "Osher," meaning "happiness" or "good fortune." Says YbZ: "Fortunate is the generation whose ruler brings a sacrifice for a sin he has committed unwittingly." What he means is, if we can trust our leader to admit a sin we didn't even know about, how much more so can we expect her/him to be open about mistakes that ARE known??? And, furthermore, we can (hopefully) rely on this person to be honest and forthcoming about other behaviors as well, not just errors and misdeeds. It is a litmus test of their character, in general.

Rabbi Held then pushes this idea one step further. He reinterprets YbZ's comments to instead read, "Fortunate is the generation which 

has raised people - and by extension nurtured leaders - capable of acknowledging their failures and asking forgiveness." It's not just a statement about our leaders; it's a statement about us. If we have leaders who lie and then cover it up, it's because they believe admitting fault will sink them. Constituents, voters, expect perfection and flawlessness; not penitence and excuses. So, in essence, we collectively cultivate leaders who deceive us. We almost expect it of them! Stated bluntly, we get the leaders we deserve. 

I think this is a reminder to us all, that criticizing our leadership is really a self-critique. And it should be! If we're shocked by who's in charge, we should reexamine ourselves 

and our communities, and think about what change could look like, what it SHOULD look like. And how do we apologize? Do we say "sorry IF I hurt you" or can we push ourselves further to admit guilt, even before all other options have been exhausted? Because it's not just our leaders who mess up; we do too. We are "Ashers" (when) and not "Ims" (if) when it comes to flaws, just as much as the folks in charge! When we change our attitudes and our own approach to forgiveness, then we can expect it of our leaders as well. And I do mean "when" we change; not "if"...

Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of N.J. Clesi on Wikimedia Commons
2. CC image courtesy of rozeek.pk on Wikimedia Commons
3. CC image courtesy of chemicalinterest on Wikimedia Commons
4. CC image courtesy of Dude7248 on Wikimedia Commons
5. CC image courtesy of Pimbrils on Wikimedia Commons