Sometimes the Torah knows us better than we know ourselves. I don't (necessarily) mean each of us individually, but the Torah DOES understand the human psyche... and often better than the rest of us.
I think we see this especially when we realize that the stories in the Torah aren't really about the people in the Torah. We frequently get caught up in the details, focusing on Abraham's near-sacrifice of Isaac, or Moses' style of leadership, or God's choice to punish or praise. We spend so much of our time deliberating about the specifics, when really the text is trying to reach out and connect to each of us, right here, right now. Maybe it's just accidental that we miss this point... or maybe we genuinely DON'T want to hear what the text is trying to tell us.
I've been wondering about this in regards to this week's Torah portion. The narrative of our parashah switches back and forth between two protagonists, Abraham and his nephew, Lot. One story depicts
Abraham welcoming in guests, the next shows Lot (sort of) doing the same. Abraham argues with God; Lot argues with God. Abraham makes questionable decisions as the head of his household; Lot - ditto. So I feel it's quite clear that the text wants us to juxtapose the two of them. It almost URGES us to do so. But it is perhaps less clear that the text is also, somewhat unsettlingly, looking PAST these two characters, and kind of staring right at you and me. We are still meant to compare and contrast them, but we are also invited to see them as aspects of ourselves.
Abraham is the hero. He's the guy we want to be. He has perfect faith (most of the time), he is hospitable, he is (sometimes) noble, and he demonstrates other admirable qualities as well. But he IS also flawed. Just flawed enough that we feel we can identify with him and consider ourselves humble in doing so. The Binding of Isaac was a bad decision,
right? See! He makes mistakes too. He is human. We can all aspire to be Abraham, because he sometimes falters but gets back up; he loses faith but regains it and keeps moving forward. He is, in many ways, an accessible role model. But we've got Lot in us as well. That's the part we don't like to see. Lot is cowardly. He makes horribly bad decisions, like offering his two daughters to an angry mob instead of his visiting guests. We can't really make sense of Lot. We can't excuse his behavior, and if we're even willing to read his story and discuss his choices, we reject them. But we are, perhaps, so angry with Lot and so condemnatory precisely BECAUSE he represents an ugly and unpleasant side of ourselves. Who wants to face that?
The Torah sees things we don't want to see. But they are there, nonetheless. And rather than trying to vanquish that which makes us uncomfortable, we might consider embracing it instead. I'm certainly
not saying this is easy to do! Yet the Torah is willing to present Lot as a part of our story, just as much as Abraham. Are we able to do the same? Can we contain Lot's difficult emotions, tendencies, ethics, and choices, and learn to be kind and caring to that side of ourselves as well? When we relegate our inner Lot to the recesses of our psyche, it festers. We need to shine a light on it instead, and accept that we too have the capacity for Lot-ness. But we CHOOSE not to act on it, and push ourselves to be better. Let us work hard to accept ALL parts of ourselves - the heroes, the villains, AND the pitiful nebuchs (losers) - and strive for greater harmony and wholeness. I know it'll make us all understand ourselves a whole LOT better.
Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of Aavindraa on Wikimedia Commons
2. CC image of "The Parting of Lot and Abraham" courtesy of Leinad-Z on Wikimedia Commons
3. CC image courtesy of Dodgers91501 on Wikimedia Commons
4. CC image courtesy of Mysid on Wikimedia Commons
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