Vayeitzei: Thanks for Praying!

There are basically three types or prayer. Judaism says so, and in her book, 'Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers,' Anne Lamott not only agrees, she sums them each up beautifully into a single word. What she calls 'Help,' Judaism
would call 'bakashot,' or 'requests.' What she calls 'Thanks,' is basically the same thing in Hebrew, what the rabbis called 'todot.' And Lamotts wonderful term 'Wow' is 'hoda'ot' in Hebrew, meaning 'praises.' Now you might ask, so which is the most important? Or which should come first? I think each one offers an access point to God, and to our inner selves, and each one has value and merit. But this week, leading into Thanksgiving, I'd like to spend a little time talking about gratitude.

This week's Torah portion might inspire you to think a bit more about giving thanks. However, it wouldn't be because there was SO MUCH of it in our parashah, quite the contrary. Despite the plethora

of prayers and pray-ers in the Torah reading, there are two things that are especially lacking: Gratitude and Happiness. Jacob asks God for help and guidance, bakashot, and both Leah and Rachel sing praise to God with many hoda'ot. Yet the tone of everyone's prayer is self-interest, jealousy, competition, and righteous indignation. We read about love and hate, friendship and rivalry, and through it all, no one seems to feel joy or happiness... and perhaps it's directly linked to the equal absence of gratitude.

In a recent New York Times article, entitled 'A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day,' John Tierney writes about research that shows how increased gratitude in our lives may lead to 'better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others."

It's a fabulous article meant to help you navigate the 'challenges' of the holiday of Thanksgiving, but it's also an opportunity to take stock of your entire life, to really think about how much gratitude you feel or express on a daily or weekly basis. Sometimes we imagine that the keys to healthier, better living involve monumental shifts in how we live our lives. But what if it really could be something as simple as saying 'Thank You' once or twice more each day? I encourage you to read the NY Times article and maybe even print it out and bring to your Thanksgiving table. Couldn't be worse than talking politics post-election with your crazy relatives, could it?

The story of Jacob and his family highlights another essential lesson.
I don't think it's saying that Thanksgiving is MORE important, it's instead reminding us that we need all three forms of prayer together. And when I speak of 'prayer,' I don't even necessarily mean a directional, God-focused benediction. If, for example, you don't believe in God, your prayer might look different. These three words, Help, Thanks, and Wow, teach us to acknowledge that life is about more than just me, my needs, and right now. And we need all three of them to see that. Food for thought on this holiday season, wouldn't you say?


Photos in this blog post:

1. CC image courtesy *dans on Flickr

2.CC image courtesy of 2Shutter on Flickr

3. CC image courtesy of ConstructionDealMkting on Flickr

4. Image courtesy of Rabbi Gerber's iPad. Handwriting unknown (unless you think it looks nice, then it was me...)