I want to talk to you about privilege. It takes many forms - white privilege, male privilege, straight privilege, economic privilege - and far be it from me to discriminate, and accidentally exclude any one entitlement from this important conversation. So the funny thing about all these benefits, these advantages, is that they are often invisible. In fact, it's the very notion
that you CANNOT see it that sometimes highlights that you definitely, definitely have it. When you're in the minority, or experience discrimination, you are often highly aware of someone else's status. If you've never noticed or given much thought to how you present in the world, what you look like to other people, chances are you are the beneficiary of privilege. A good friend of mine recently said, "Well, I don't walk around thinking of myself as a white male!" And I responded, "But others see you that way! You have the luxury of just not thinking about it every day, but I bet others around you don't forget." I wonder how many women feel, with rare exceptions, that they are acutely aware of being women on a daily basis? How many LGBTQ individuals are constantly self-conscious about how they embody this label, when I, as a cisgender, straight man, rarely give much thought to my sexuality. I also wonder how surprised you'd be to learn that there's "
manspreading" and "
mansplaining" in the Bible too? Probably not very...
Our Haftarah this week is especially entertaining, and a good example of men being ignorant of their privilege. It is meant to be the story of Samson, because Samson took a
Nazirite vow and thus never cut his hair, and the laws of the Nazirite are first explained in our Torah portion, Naso. Hence the link between the two texts.
However, the story presented to us, from the Book of Judges, chapter 13, isn't really about Samson at all. It's about his parents, Manoah and... Mrs. Manoah? She isn't given a name. Well, as so many good Biblical stories begin, Mrs. Manoah is unable to have children. An angel visits her and says she WILL soon have a child, and he will be a Nazirite. She runs and tells her husband, sharing all the details of what the mysterious angel said, and his response is: "Oh, my Lord! Please let the "Man of God" [the angel] that You sent come to us again, so that he may instruct us on how to act with the child that is to be born." (v. 8) The ridiculous part is, his wife JUST told him what the angel said! Complete with all relevant instructions!! Oh, but he heard it from a woman (i.e. not someone trustworthy...), so he asks to hear it directly from this MAN of God, in order to "really" believe it. Sigh...
Later, the angel DOES return, and repeats the same, stupid instructions. Manoah doesn't even seem to fully believe this is an angel, even though his wife has gotten it THE WHOLE TIME!! Mid-conversation, the angel
magically jumps into the fire on their sacrificial altar and ascends into heaven; a pretty neat angel trick. Manoah panics, and declares: "We shall surely die; for we have seen a Divine Being!!!" (v. 22) His wife then basically responds (and I'm paraphrasing): "Why would God show us all these things and send us this specific message, if the only purpose was to kill us???" A further irony of this story is that the angel is ephemeral, seemingly appearing and disappearing at will. This MAN of God should be the invisible one, but the unnamed, ignored, condescended woman is really the one who seems invisible to her husband... and - to a certain extent - to us as well.
It's no coincidence that the one who thinks they know best, who has all the answers and doesn't bother to listen to anyone else, is a man. That moment of "mansplaining" (appropriately combining "man" and "explaining," and I might add "unnecessarily and patronizingly"...) - when Manoah turns to his wife and says, "Did you know that was an ANGEL we were talking to??" - that scene truly epitomizes privilege in our society, even today. And let me be clear; I do this too! I'm not
claiming to be an exception to this rule (as I write my 454th blog post...). But if we mean to change this in ANY significant way, it has to begin by acknowledging privilege. It isn't my fault, and I didn't ask for it, but I AM the beneficiary of being white, male, and straight, EVEN when you throw "Jewish" into the mix. Right now, all over the world, we see examples of people WITHOUT privilege being abused, ignored, and discriminated against. We can't solve all of it. But we CAN begin by seeing ourselves as others do, rather than just how we imagine ourselves. Once we see it, we can actually turn our privilege into a tool of justice, helping open doors for others and break down barriers. We just can't get there until we acknowledge reality. Often times, I AM Manoah. But even just writing this blog post helps me see that, and helps me try to change my behavior. It might not seem like much, but it's a start.
Images in this blog post:
1. CC image of "manspreading" courtesy of
Richard Yeh / WNYC on
Flickr
2. CC
image courtesy of
ענת צילקר on Wikimedia Commons
3. CC image courtesy of PersianDutchNetwork on Wikimedia Commons
4. CC image of "mansplaining" courtesy of Robert G. Hofmann on Wikimedia Commons
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