Life certainly is unpredictable. So much of our time is spent trying to create order and structure, get into habits and rhythms, and plodding along in our day-to-day lives. And then, in an instant, things get
upended. Sometimes change is good, sometimes it's bad, but the one thing we can count on is that change WILL happen. We don't get to control it, and we don't get to determine when it happens. We can, however, decide how to respond to it, and how to move forward. And, I might add, we can also choose to reserve judgment as to whether unexpected occurrences are positive or negative. What seems like a blessing may, in fact, be a curse, and a terrible turn of events may ultimately lead to incredible opportunities. So, what the heck am I talking about?
Let me start with the Biblical example. Our
parashah opens with Jacob's sons trapped in Egypt, pleading their case before a very hostile Egyptian vizier. One brother is being held hostage, a second is at risk, and the other brothers are beside themselves trying to survive and
escape. Things look bleak. Then, in an instant, the vizier reveals himself to be Joseph, their long-lost brother, and EVERYTHING changes. The whole family moves down to Egypt, food is secured, family members are reunited, and a devastating curse turns into a miraculous blessing. And yet, you and I, the story's readers, also know that around the corner waits another curse; enslavement in Egypt. BUT, one could argue that we wouldn't have become a mighty nation if it weren't for our bondage. Would we have received the Torah, if we hadn't been forced to wander for 40 years in the desert? Another blessing, hidden within a curse.
As you can probably guess - and as most of you surely know from your own lives - this isn't just about the Biblical world. A couple of years ago, I was in a minor car crash. It wasn't terrible, and (thank God) I was fine. But at the time it seemed like a very real curse, a terribly unfortunate event that brought chaos and
trauma. However, a few months later, that seemingly awful crash led to several positive changes in my life that were quite unexpected. Does that mean the car accident was "good"? No. But I did feel blessed to see the opportunities that presented themselves in the midst of a bad situation. This past fall, we had a horrible mold problem develop in our home. My family's life was disrupted, and it seemed like an enormous curse that lasted for months. Yet, on the other end we discovered that we had deepened relationships within the community, were able to make some improvements on our house, felt a renewed sense of gratitude for simple conveniences, and I even got a few good sermon topics out of it for the High Holidays! It was still not a predicament I would have wished upon myself (or anyone else, for that matter), but again, we don't decide WHAT happens in life. We can only choose how to react, and then look for blessings and opportunities hidden under the surface.
When Joseph eventually makes his true identity known to his brothers, he declares to them: "I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. Now, do not be distressed or angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you."
(Genesis 45:4-5) How long do you think it took Joseph to see God's plan hidden inside his terrible predicament? It probably took a LONG time. If he could do it, so can we. I'm not saying it's easy, but it CAN be done. Life throws us so many curve balls, it can sometimes feel unbearable. But our story does not have to end with the curse. On the very opposite end of the Torah, in the Book of Deuteronomy, God says: "See, I set before you this day blessing and curse." (11:26) Our lives are filled with both the good and the bad. It is unavoidable. The choice to label which thing as "blessing" and which as "curse" is entirely up to us. In this new year, I encourage you to push yourself to pick ONE instance where you see life sending you a curse, and reframe it into a blessing. I think you'll find that it uncovers and changes more than you could have even imagined.
Happy New Year!
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