Shanah Tovah.
You know, I never
thought I would start a High Holiday sermon talking about Scotland. But here
goes. Last week, I found myself intrigued – as so many people around the world
were as well – by the vote for independence taking place in Scotland. I think,
perhaps, that one of the reasons why people across the globe followed this
particular vote was because of its seeming simplicity. I mean, let’s face it,
how often in life does ANYTHING come down to JUST saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’???
Sure, there were
repercussions to either outcome in Scotland, both within that almost-new
country itself and for so many other places considering their own push for
independence, like Catalonia in Spain, Kashmir in India/Pakistan/China, and
Quebec just, you know, slightly north of here. But ultimately, for over 5
million people, it was a question of ‘no, let’s stick with the UK’ or ‘yes,
let’s go it alone.’
And certainly for
anyone connected to Israel, another country debating a one- or two-state
solution, there is something incredibly covetous about Scotland’s situation.
Could you imagine anything being this simple in Israel? Is there any question
at all being debated that could in any way be answered with a simple
‘yes’ or ‘no’? The answer, of course, to THAT question is ‘no, not really, well
maybe sort of, but ultimately, sadly, probably mostly no.’
Even sitting here, on
the High Holidays, if I asked you why you’re here, or what Rosh Hashanah means
to you; is there a simple answer? Or would your response likely incorporate
past experiences, both positive and negative, expectations and hopes, theology,
culture, gastronomy, and so much else? Nothing in life is ever as simple as it
may appear, and that, perhaps, is why we were all so intrigued by the straightforward
vote in Scotland.
And yet, even as
uncomplicated as it was, the decision of 5 million Scots was always going to
affect other people; it was not a vote cast in a vacuum. That is, perhaps,
because the whole notion of living in a vacuum, of someone, anyone, making a
choice that impacts NO ONE else, is basically always false. Everything
we do touches the lives of those around us.
I say this because our
theme this year, “Hineini,” the Hebrew word “Here I am,” which is so crucial in
the Bible, also does not take place in a void.
As I mentioned at the
end of yesterday’s sermon, EVERY time the word is used in the Tanach, it is in
response to someone else. No one ever speaks it alone, and no one ever says it
without directing it AT someone else. Even though it SOUNDS like a word of
independence, entirely about me and my relationship with myself, it is actually
very much a statement filled with interpersonal meaning. “Here I am” for
a task, to do something, with someone else. So even though we’ve
talked about “Hineini” as mindfulness, as being present to your own
experience at any and every moment in life, it is also true that “Hineini” is
about noticing those around you as well. When your eyes are open to your
experience, you start to notice how others around you are impacted as well.
Yesterday, I shared
with you the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen monk and meditation master, who writes
and speaks a lot about presence. He also talks about the importance of the
Other, saying: “if you are really here, something else will also be here: the
presence of the other. You are here and the other is here.” And he also adds
that “your presence is the most precious gift you can give him or her.”
Yesterday we talked about how important it is to be present and mindful to
ourselves, and today I want to add the notion of being present to others, of
not just paying lip service to one another, talking about mundane things like the
weather or the Eagles, or trying to seem intelligent and worldly, by talking
about international issues, like the vote for independence in Scotland.
This is our question of
the day: Can we say “Hineini,” “I am here… for you,” for each other, and really
mean it?
I want to share with
you the accounts of three generations of our patriarchs in the Torah; Isaac, Jacob,
and Joseph. All of them use the term “Hineini” in fascinating ways, and we
understand them better when we see the differences in how they speak this one
word, throughout the various stories of the Book of Genesis.
First, though, I want
to declare that none of them are perfect. They are models to us, not because of
their flawlessness, but because of their journeys. They struggle, they grow
from experiences, they relapse and make the same mistakes again, and then they
keep moving forward. That is one of the things I love about the Torah, its
willingness to be vulnerable, to present our ancestors as REAL people, with
real shortcomings whom we find ways to love anyway. So too it is in life.
We jump right into the
messiness of their lives, with our ancestor, Jacob, lying to his father, Isaac.
In one of the first,
and most famous, stories about this troubled family, Jacob and his mother,
Rebecca, conspire to steal a special blessing from Isaac, which was really
intended for the other brother, Esau. While Esau is out hunting, Jacob pretends
to be his brother and goes in to see his father, who is nearly blind.
It’s a tense moment for
everyone, including you and me, the readers. Jacob goes up to his father and
says “Father?” And Isaac answers, “Yes, who are you, my son?” Meaning, “Which
of my sons are you?” But right there, in that very moment, something is already
off. I never saw it before myself, but Isaac doesn’t actually say, “Yes” to his
son’s question, as the English translation suggests. Instead, he says
“HiNEHni,” using the weaker form of the word, NOT the stronger one that
indicates full and complete presence, “HiNEIni.” Even before Jacob gets the
opportunity to misrepresent himself, to pretend to be Esau, Isaac senses that
something is wrong. He says “HiNEHni,” because he isn’t really there.
Jacob doesn’t appear to
notice this distinction, perhaps because his father – who blatantly preferred
Esau throughout their lives – was never fully present to Jacob. Theirs was
never a relationship of face-to-face encounters, of genuine connection. And
that is the ultimate tragedy of their story.
But the devious plan is
successful; Jacob wins his father’s blessing, and he flees his brother’s wrath
and goes to live with his uncle. However, he never seems settled or at peace in
any new place he lives for the rest of his days. It is heartbreaking to realize
that Jacob’s entire life is marred by the lack of love and attention he
received from his father. And yet, it is perhaps even more tragic to
witness him perpetuate this behavior with his own progeny. He openly and
insensitively favors Joseph over his other eleven children, and Joseph’s
brothers grow to hate him for it.
I mention all of this
because “Hineini” reappears in this story. Jacob, now the father, sends
his favored son, Joseph, to spy on his brothers out in the fields. When Jacob
calls his son over to prepare him for his journey, Joseph responds to his
father with… “Hineini.” Incredibly, THIS is the last word he will speak to his
father for twenty years. In the story, he goes to find his brothers, they grab
him and sell him into slavery, he is taken to Egypt, gets thrown in prison, but
rises to fame and fortune… AND only after two
decades is he eventually reunited with his father. And before all of that,
the final word that Jacob heard from his son, Joseph, was “Hineini.”
Think about how
‘presence’ plays out in these stories, and how our ancestors’ decisions to be
in the moment, or be removed, has SUCH lasting impact on their own lives AND
the lives of those around them. Isaac speaks “HiNEHni,” absently, and he is then
an absent character in the Torah. Joseph, even as a child, says “HiNEIni,” with
great strength, and demonstrates why he is really the hero of the Book of
Genesis. He is ready for his task, and with this single word, “HiNEIni,” he
foreshadows the Odyssey of meaning and growth that lay before him.
And what of Jacob’s
presence? The middle generation? I think he struggles to find himself. He began
his life lying to his brother and his father, and is then repaid – perhaps a
Biblical form of karma – with an uncle who deceives him, wives who manipulate
him, and children who trick and fool him as well.
Three times we actually
hear Jacob use the word “Hineini” as well, BUT two of them are somewhat dubious.
In Genesis 31, Jacob recounts to his wives, Leah and Rachel, his meeting with
God, and claims he said “Hineini” when God called to him… but we never actually
heard him use the word in a conversation with God, just his version of that
story. Similarly, when he and Joseph are reunited, later in life in Genesis 48,
he again references an audience with God, and uses “Hineini,” though we did not
hear him say it in realtime. Only once, in chapter 46, does he use the strong
and sincere form of “Hineini” when ACTUALLY speaking with God.
Perhaps we can look at
Jacob’s life, and say that he struggled to be present to the people around him,
and was only able to bring himself fully to his encounters with the Divine, not
other human beings. But as the rabbis remind us regarding the High Holidays, we
have two relationships to maintain: “Bein Adam La’Makom,” between us and God,
AND “Bein Adam l’Chaveiro,” the relationship between people. You cannot ask God
for forgiveness, if the one who was wronged was a family member or a friend.
Our actions all have consequences, and we need to be fully present to those ramifications,
and SEE how our choices can harm or heal another, and only then can we be
forgiven.
Our ancient ancestors
reminded us to think long and hard about our relationships. Sometimes we make a
comment absent-mindedly, or while we’re stressed or irritated, and we don’t
think it’s such a big deal, if we even notice it at all. Imagine a child, OUR
child, walking into the room, seeking connection, attention, and like Isaac, we
say “HiNEHni,” NOT fully engaged.
To us, it’s minor and
we forget about the encounter moments later, but to that child, it could be
incredibly hurtful, and it could stay with them for years or even decades to
come.
But we are also
reminded that life is unpredictable and fragile. Who knows when you have seen
someone for the very last time? As you run out the door in the morning, late
for work, you snap at your spouse for not emptying the dishwasher, but you
don’t know if those could possibly, God forbid, be the last words they ever
heard you say. You plan to apologize that evening, but like Jacob and Joseph,
the next opportunity to speak face-to-face may come twenty years later, if in
this lifetime at all.
To me, there’s an
urgency in the word “Hineini.” Or at least there should be. “I am here… because I cannot afford to waste another
minute.” And I need to use my time wisely, to both be in relationship with
myself and with the people around me.
That, by the way, is
the reason why Ohev Shalom is shifting its focus a little in the way we do
things here at the synagogue. Bonnie and I both have themes this year that
speak to connection, to relationship. As Bonnie shared with you yesterday, her
theme is about personal narratives, about hearing one another’s stories, and
allowing them to become the foundations for engagement and stronger bonds
between individuals. And my theme, “Hineini,” is basically the same idea; being
more present to yourself and your own story, realizing how IT impacts others,
and then also identifying and connecting to the stories of those around you.
We’ve both drawn our
inspiration from a book called “Relational Judaism” by Ron Wolfson, and the
Ohev Board of Directors is actually reading that book together, throughout the
year. Wolfson introduces the reader to NINE levels of connection, nine
different relationships that we’re each engaged in, with self, family, friends,
community, Israel, God, etc. The word for ‘between’ in Hebrew is “Bayn,” and
Wolfson cleverly calls these the nine “Bayns of our existence.” He writes, “The
sacred self is relational. The sacred self is unique. The sacred self is imbued
with a sense of kedushah – a
spirituality born of the realization that what I do in the world makes a
difference, a unique contribution that only I can make.”
This, to me, is
“Hineini.” The sacred self that is BOTH unique AND relational. Like Abraham, in
yesterday’s sermon, we strive to be in closer relationship with our self, and
to be here in this present moment; at the same time, like Isaac, Jacob, and
Joseph, we need to learn that our lives are interwoven with so many others.
Our ancestors remind us
that we cannot waste any more precious time; we need to refocus on cultivating
relationships and sharing stories. Another Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield,
writes, “When we look at what’s satisfied us in the past week or month or
decade, it’s been the connections, the love and the openness of our lives to
the places we’ve traveled and the people we’ve met.” And it’s true; if you
think back to what was really meaningful in just the past few days or even the
most recent few years, I am sure most of you would agree it’s been experiences,
places, and relationships, NOT possessions or work goals achieved.
These High Holiday
services invite us to refocus, recalibrate. That’s not to say it’s easy or
simple. It’s not like a casual vote for Scottish independence. You can’t just
say “yes” to making a change, and then “poof!” everything’s different. But Ron
Wolfson reminds us that our kedushah,
our holiness, comes from realizing that our lives make a difference. You have a
choice: Do you want your life to look like Isaac’s, Jacob’s, or Joseph’s?
Absent to the people around you, struggling to find your sense of self, or
present and ready to make the most of every moment.
Rabbi Nathan Lopez
Cardozo, who teaches at the David Cardozo Academy in Jerusalem, writes: “Our
encounter with God on the High Holidays teaches us a powerful lesson: There are
no deeds of insignificance. It warns that we should never see our lives as
common and irrelevant. However small a deed may seem in our eyes, Rosh Hashanah
and Yom Kippur make us aware that our entire lives, and even the most trivial
deeds, should be attuned to eternity.”
Don’t let your life be
filled with absently spoken “HiNEHni”s, with missed opportunities and lack of
presence. Instead, use every moment to declare “HiNEIni,” I am truly here… for
myself and for you.” Thich Nhat Hanh reminded us that our presence is a gift.
Please make the most of that gift each and every day, and in all of the votes
that you cast in life’s many complicated and nuanced ballots.
It’s as simple as that.
Shanah Tovah!