Thursday, March 21, 2013

Vayikra: National Gun Violence Prevention Shabbat @ Ohev Shalom

Last Shabbat was National Gun Violence Prevention Shabbat. I tried to write to you about it here on the blog, but I'm not sure many people realized we were also acknowledging it in services. I wanted to share with you my thoughts from Friday night's service last week, in addition to my regular blog post this week.

I also included several prayers written specifically about gun violence, from an online resource called 'God not Guns,' which you can find here. It's a Pdf document, from which I read prayers on the following pages:

Pp. 24-25, 26 ('Prayer 2'), 27 (both 'Prayer 5' and 'Prayer 6')

Here is my sermon from last Friday night:


Friday Night D’var Torah - Parashat Vayikra 5773
Gun Violence Prevention Shabbat

In the Doblitz Library here at Ohev Shalom (just beyond the wall of our chapel), we have a statue of Moses. (We actually have two, but this one is unique.) Those of us who spend some time in the library affectionately refer to him as ‘angry Moses.’ We call him that, because of the unusual choice of the sculptor, who has chosen to depict Moses just about to smash the Ten Commandments to the ground. You can see the anger in his eyes and in his face; he isn’t holding the tablets in the traditional manner, cradled in his arm, but is instead raising them above his head, poised to hurl them to the ground. And I was thinking about ‘angry Moses’ when I was preparing to write this D’var Torah for Gun Violence Prevention Shabbat. (which, incidentally, isn’t a name that really rolls off the tongue…)

In my blog this week, I wrote a bit about gun violence, and what the Torah has to say on the subject, though perhaps more accurately on the subject of guilt and innocence, of our collective responsibility for the safety and well-being of others. In that post, I quoted a colleague of mine in California, Rabbi Aaron Alexander, who, in his February 14th Huffington Post article, wrote very passionately on this issue. And in fact, Rabbi Alexander was the one who led me to our library statue, because he connected our issue this evening to Moses coming down from the mountain. He talked about what Moses saw when he descended; how he was bringing the people a gift from God, and arrived just in time to see them transgressing possibly the MOST sacred commandment, and turning their fledgling community into a society of debauchery, idolatry, and violence. And in that moment, Moses crashed the tablets to the ground.

The rabbis reading this story ask themselves, ‘how do we understand Moses’ actions?’ He is never punished by God for his rash behavior, in fact, many rabbis argue that he is rewarded, even praised, by God, and so we are left trying to make sense of this extremely passionate episode. And this question isn’t merely limited to just Moses; I think you’ll see that it also carries ramifications for us and our society today as well.

Rabbi Alexander queries:  “Is this public display of frustration an acceptable leadership paradigm to celebrate? Isn't this kind of emotional response exactly what we strive to keep out of the public sphere?” And he then quotes one of our ancient rabbinic teachers, Reish Lakish, as stating that “God recognized [that] some events [are] so jarring and disruptive that the only authentic response is outrage, astonishment and direct action -- even if something important is lost along the way. Yes, even the Ten Commandments, wholly Divine, became secondary to human behavior in this moment.”

Now I look at this story, and I feel two, conflicting responses. On the one hand, I agree with Rabbi Alexander. As Moses came down from Mount Sinai and saw the cohort before him, and how perverted and fundamentally flawed were the standards and expectations these people had set for themselves, he understood, in that moment, that something was already broken. He shattered the tablets as if to say, ‘you are living a broken system, and we cannot build on this foundation with God’s teaching.’ When we, today, accept the senseless deaths of children every day, gun-related violence all around us on a constant basis, and common-sense changes that are OVERWHELMINGLY accepted by the majority of Americans, yet they STILL cannot get implemented – that is a broken system. And so we have to ask, what needs to be shattered for change to happen? When will enough Columbines, Auroras, and Sandy Hooks happen for us to realize that we have to stop hiding behind our own holy tablets; the laws that we claim are unchangeable, that we insist are written in stone?

In that sense, I agree with Aaron Alexander. I agree that we sometimes let the status quo deaden our senses to the problems around us – we become numb to the violence in movies, video games, the news, and permeating our daily lives. We have to, at the very least, be WILLING to shatter any and all of our sacred truths, if there’s a chance that they’ve grown stale, that they’ve remained unquestioned and unscrutinized for too long. When we get too complacent, bad things happen.

This week’s Torah portion, and my blog post online, try to remind us that we STILL have a responsibility, even if we commit sins unwittingly, or think that we can stand on the sidelines and avoid getting involved. We cannot. We are all responsible. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” So we cannot afford to turn a blind eye, or look the other way, or hide behind the ‘stone tablets’ of how we’ve always done things or ‘that’s just the way Americans think.’ We are all affected by the violence that is perpetrated every day, and so we have an obligation to act RIGHT NOW!

That is how I feel. However, that is not ALL I feel. I mentioned earlier that I have two, conflicting responses to Moses’ smashing of the tablets, and my other response comes specifically BECAUSE of how much we are dependent on one another, how we are all indirectly affected by the actions of others. Can we always respond as Moses does? Can we tear down the fabric of society, pouring out our outrage and fury, without concern about the consequences? What about dialogue and communication? Finding middle ground, and reaching consensus? Yes, some issues are more important, and in the moment it may feel as if anything and everything is warranted, but how does Moses then go back to talking to individual Israelites after his furious display? How does he resolve minor interpersonal disputes and hear someone’s mundane complaint after they’ve witnessed ‘angry Moses’?

If we are looking to make sustainable, long-term change – and I believe we are – we need to bring everyone with us. We need to work long and hard, and focus on the eventual goals, not just the immediate ones, if a culture shift is ever going to occur. And we cannot alienate others, demonize those across the aisle, or label someone the ‘scapegoat,’ and still think we’re going to reach consensus. Right now, we have a problem. Are there deep political divides on this issue? Yes, there are. Should we therefore avoid talking about it? No, we cannot. We simply cannot afford to. But let’s not therefore IGNORE that it is a divisive issue, filled with tensions and personal stories. We have to give room to all the fears and concerns, family stories and cultural norms, frustrations and grievances. All of it needs to be brought to the table, otherwise we aren’t cleaning out the closets and creating a fresh start.

And as we approach the holiday of Pesach, we must indeed focus on cleaning out those closets. And specifically, we need to work on those issues we would perhaps prefer to leave behind, to fester and ferment. ‘Chametz,’ comes from the same root as vinegar ‘Chometz,’ and it has to do with fermentation. We need to rid ourselves of the Chametz that festers in our lives, and give ourselves a fresh start. We need to work together with all members of our society, leaving behind issues that divide and enrage us, and focusing on the real changes that need to happen to reduce the amount of innocent deaths and instances of gun violence. To make sure that the James Holmeses and Adam Lanzas of our county can’t get a hold of weapons and make tragic decisions that ruin lives. Because there are solutions out there that can lead to these changes, and most of us support them. We just allow ourselves to get distracted, to focus instead on the Chametz, when we really need to pay more attention to the Charoset, the mortar that we remind ourselves of on Passover that brought bricks together and built civilizations.

At our Second Seder on Passover, in another week and a half, we’ll talk more about that strange and entertaining song we sing, Dayeinu. What do we mean when we sing about Dayeinu? The verses of the song suggest that if God had brought us out of slavery but abandoned us in the desert, Dayeinu – it would have been enough. If God had brought us to Sinai, but somehow FORGOT to also give us Moses’ infamous Ten Commandments, that too would have been Dayeinu, enough. Or if we’d been given the Land of Israel but no Shabbat, no problem, Dayeinu, we’d have been fine. But we would NOT have been fine. The song is really facetiously trying to get us all to shout out loud, “NO! It would NOT have been enough!” We need God’s help, because we’d have been nowhere without it.

And just as Moses’ dramatic, demonstrative act, commemorated in our friend, the statue next door, leaves us with two possible responses, so too Dayeinu yields two responses. And in both instances, we need BOTH paths. Dayeinu reminds us that it was not enough then, and it’s not enough now. We cannot be complacent, and settle for a flawed society, stuck in a proverbial desert, aimless and chaotic. We MUST keep striving. We must work together to complete God’s work, to acknowledge how much God has done for us, but recognize that it is now our task to keep going, keep building, keep striving, and keep changing to get this thing right. We’re not there yet, but we have the tools and the know-how to get there.

But Dayeinu, the word, and the new group which was formed here at Ohev Shalom, is also a reminder that we need to say ‘Enough.’ We have endured enough hatred, enough violence, and enough smoke-and-mirrors; now it’s time for change. Yes, this is a complicated issue. And yes, some people feel demonized, and we have to be respectful of different backgrounds and approaches to the overarching issue of owning guns. But there are also people, and specifically children, dying every day. And that’s a problem that truly, truly affects us all, and needs to be remedied. So we must find ways to bring everyone together, to get us all – in this community, in this country, and around the world – to say ‘enough!’ Let us begin to make changes.

Why would someone make an angry statue? Why depict Moses in that embarrassing moment for us all, in that heated, passionate, really, violent pose? Maybe because we need the reminder. We need to know the importance of anger. It can be empowering, and it can be strengthening. But we also need to use it wisely, and not fight consuming, destructive fire in kind. We can be better, and we can do better. We must act. We need to educate, we need to organize, and we need to make sure that change begins to happen. Then we will create a more just and peaceful society. THEN we will have earned the right to truly receive God’s commandments, and we will finally be able to start with clean cabinets and clean souls.

Shabbat Shalom!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Violence Our Souls Can No Longer Endure

Intention is important when it comes to behavior, but it isn't quite as important as you might think. In this week's Torah reading, we learn some uncomfortable lessons about our responsibilities in society, specifically regarding committing sins unintentionally and being an 'innocent' bystander. 
In each of these instances, we still incur some guilt and bear some responsibility for what happens. I would like to talk to you about this for a bit, and I invite you (if you're in the area) to also join us on Friday night, where we'll continue this conversation as part of National Gun Violence Prevention Shabbat. However, I'm also mindful of keeping you, all of you, IN this conversation, so I want to make it clear that I'm not pointing a finger, or labeling any one (or any group) as the 'bad guy.' This is about communal responsibility, and acknowledging - as the Torah implores us to - that each person shares in the fate of everyone else, and we all must take that obligation seriously.

In chapter four of Leviticus, the Torah lays out the laws regarding 'intentional' sins vs. 'unintentional' ones. The text refers to 'nefesh achat ki techeta bishgaga' - literally, '[if] one soul commits a sin unknowingly,' and goes on to list the sacrifices that person must
bring. Why is the term 'soul' used here? And later on, in chapter five, we are also taught about this same 'soul,' and the guilt offerings he must bring if he were able to give testimony in case but chose not to do so, and later regretted it. In other words, if he could have spoken up against an injustice, but decided - perhaps out of fear, apathy, or just inconvenience - to remain silent; that person is still guilty. And again, the Torah speaks of 'souls.' Why? Perhaps because underneath the surface, we are all the same. When skin color, religion, sexual orientation, class, or culture are lifted away, and we instead focus on the soul, we realize that we are the same, and we have no excuse for allowing injustice to be perpetrated against another.

And I say this because I think we tend to label one another. 'Are you on my side of this issue (or aisle)? And are you therefore worth listening to or not?' And we also allow ourselves to be distracted by political debates, and forget that this is a human issue. 
It may ALSO be an issue with many political dimensions, lots of facts and figures, and terrifying statistics; but at its core - its soul - violent acts (not control, legislation, or amendments) are being committed every day, and we're not stopping them. Last month, in the Huffington Post, Rabbi Aaron Alexander wrote a terrific piece entitled, 'Gun Violence in Our Country: A Crisis for Every Single American.' He writes about Moses smashes the Ten Commandments (which we'll talk about on Friday night), and he writes about sitting with clergy members who have to perform tons of funerals for gun violence victims every MONTH. And he also offers a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." 

Rabbi Alexander (and Dr. King) remind us of our collective responsibility. They remind us that only when we feel REAL empathy, and are deeply hurt by the pain, suffering, and death of another, do we seek to make change. Gun violence is an issue with limitless complexity and deep-seated divisiveness in our society. But we must not allow ourselves to be distracted by the noise and clutter, or the fear of being labeled. Standing idly by STILL makes us culpable, and there is no such thing as an 'innocent bystander' when we allow this violence to persist. 

It is time to say, as Rabbi Alexander does and members of our community have done: 'Enough!' - 'Dayeinu!' No longer will our souls tolerate the status quo. Change must come. 


Photos in this blog post:
2. CC image courtesy of infomatique on Flickr
3. CC image courtesy of kirstyhall on Flickr
4. CC image courtesy of Gideon Tsang on Flickr
 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Vayakhel-Pekudei: How to Teach Real Leadership

What does real leadership look like? It is, in a sense, a question that is being asked around the world right now. In the Vatican, a conclave of
cardinals is about to come up with one answer. In Venezuela, a grieving (or not so grieving) population will have to come up with another. And as we inch our way closer to the holiday of Passover, our Jewish tradition invites us to consider this question for ourselves. It's easy to think we're talking about Moses here, or even God, when really Pesach challenges us to look inside for a deeper answer. And last week, in Israel, we were treated to a new, refreshing, and possibly watershed example of what true leadership may indeed look like.

There isn't just one way to lead, or even just one term for a good leader. Our Torah portion this week talks about prophets and priests, and our Haftarah - a parallel text, this week from the Prophet Ezekiel - adds words like 'king' and 'prince.' 
Rabbi Ronnie Cohen has written a very interesting D'var Torah about the word 'prince' and how it signifies a very different type of leadership than king or prophet. Rabbi Cohen offers one particularly fascinating observation, stating that real leadership must be earned for oneself; it cannot be passed down from parent to child, or handed out to a chosen successor. We are defined by our own actions. Time and again in the Bible we see examples of failed leadership, of rulers who are insecure, cruel, paranoid, power-hungry, and/or petty. And we've certainly seen our fair share of the same in modern times...

In some ways, that makes us better at recognizing real leadership when we see it, because we're tired of all the people who got it wrong. Yet at the same time, some of us love to make the same mistakes over and over again... Last week, however, a new voice entered the arena of religious politics in Israel, and it may be the start of a new 
era, or at least so we hope. Ruth Calderon, a newly elected Member of Knesset, dedicated her debut speech to teaching Talmud, something rarely done in Knesset, and CERTAINLY never done by a woman! In her speech, she said things like: "The Torah is not the property of any stream... We gave it away, when we thought there was a more important task, to build the army and the state and farming and industry. Now we must take back what is ours." Hundreds of thousands have watched her speech on YouTube, and she has already been heavily praised AND criticized from all sides of Israeli life. But finally we are talking about the Orthodox dominance in Israel! And nothing can really happen until that conversation begins. 

One thing leadership is not, is status quo. The Bible teaches us, and the world around us constantly offers reminders, that we need to evolve and improve. Life is a journey, and real leaders want to join us on our travels; sometimes teaching and sometimes learning, but always moving forward. Calderon
has shown us the power of a single speech, with a volume of Talmud in hand. No one can GIVE you leadership, no matter how much you are knighted, anointed, appointed, elected, or white-smoked. True leaders earn it, and re-earn it again and again. We look on in fascination to see how things will yet develop in Israel, and hopefully they will indeed begin to move. But we also must look inside ourselves, find leadership traits in all that we do, and transform the world with our own actions. Sometimes leadership may seem like a spectator-sport, but really it's time we all get in the game.


Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of archer10 (Dennis) on Flickr
2. CC image courtesy of Scott5114 on Flickr
3. CC image courtesy of Rachel-Esther on Flickr
4. CC image courtesy of The U.S. Army on Flickr

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Ki Tisa: Stuck in the middle with You...

I want to begin by clearing something up right away. Last week's blog post - about sacrificing chickens in our synagogue parking lot - was a joke. It was not true. We are NOT planning any such bizarre and incredibly tasteless ceremony (combined with Bless the Pets? How heartless do you think I AM???), I made the whole thing up. As I've done
every year of this blog-writing-business, my post right before the holiday of Purim was akin to something you might read for April Fool's Day. It's a tradition known as 'Purim Torah,' and is meant in jest, to lighten the mood and go together nicely with Purim costumes and reenactments of the story of Queen Esther. Humor's a tough thing though, right? Sometimes it works perfectly, and sometimes it falls flat. Hopefully, my Purim postings landed somewhere between making you raise your eyebrows and getting you to laugh out loud. And as long as I did better than a certain offending New York state assemblyman, I'm pleased... 

This week, I want to switch gears a bit, and talk about the challenge of leadership. I've been following, with no small degree of fascination, the resignation today of Pope Benedict XVI. It may not come as much of a surprise to you that I'm not that familiar with papal procedures; though I do remember watching Benedict's election back in 2005. 
In his final speech on Wednesday, Pope Benedict spoke about the utter lack of privacy of his office, and how his life has been completely given over to the church and his 'flock.' Very often we hear similar statements from public figures and world leaders, yet for some reason it's always compelling to hear yet another person echo this sentiment. As with most things in life, there's a give and take, and a system of rights and responsibilities. Fame, fortune, and a spot in the history books always sounds SO enticing, but behind the scenes it may demand great personal sacrifice and even heartache that isn't always visible from the outside. 

One person who could certainly relate to what Benedict is going through right now is Moses! This week, we read about the terrible sin of the Golden Calf, where the people betray not only God, but Moses as well. And Moses is forced to play both sides and do a tremendous amount of damage control. He pleads with God to spare the people, and has to absorb the brunt of God's wrath. Meanwhile, he chastises the people for their transgression, while trying to slowly encourage them back to loyalty to God. People often imagine the primary role of a prophet is to predict the future. 
Or perhaps they think of them as yelling at the people for their sins, or comforting them after calamity has struck. But one of the main responsibilities of the prophet is what some call 'standing in the breach,' serving as the intermediary between God and the people. When neither can take the full impact of the other, the prophet serves as the filter, halfway between the two sides. And boy, is it a tough job! 

In his farewell speech, Pope Benedict lamented the state of the world, and all the pain, suffering, and scandals he had witnessed in his few years in the papacy: "there were also moments in which the waters were agitated and the wind contrary." And he couldn't help but wonder where God was in all of this, adding, "The Lord seemed to be sleeping." Not everyone can get away with accusing God of snoozing on the job... but not everyone feels it so personally, or has to make excuses for his 'Boss,' as the Pope does. Today's resignation reminds
us of the mixed blessing of leadership. It can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, but also heavily demanding and draining. Try and imagine what 'standing in the breach' might mean today? Do you ever find yourself there? Sometimes when we're able to picture ourselves in the shoes of another, and we can see the struggles and challenges they endure, we both appreciate how tough a time they have, and we value our own lot a little bit more. Might make you think twice about becoming a prophet, you know, if Someone ever made you the offer... 

Photos in this blog post:
1. Image courtesy of Rabbi Gerber's iPhone (please don't tell Bev Weiner I killed her rubber chicken...)
2. CC image courtesy of Sergey Gabdurakhmanov on Flickr
3. CC image courtesy of Fauxlaroid on Flickr
4. CC image courtesy of andrechinn on Flickr

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Tetzaveh: The Goats Love This Plan More Than Anyone...


By now, you're probably tired of hearing me yammer on about sustainability, CSAs, composting, and recycling. I hear you. I too would be pretty bored at this point if I were you (but luckily for me, I'm not). So out of respect to you, dear reader, I am going to continue droning on about sustainability, BUT please imagine me nodding sympathetically as I do. Your concerns are VERY important to me.

Anyhoo, many of you came to our Scholar-in-Residence weekend a few days ago, and had the pleasure of learning from Nigel Savage, the director of Hazon. After the weekend, I received tons of questions
from congregants about one particular story Nigel told us. In 2007, Hazon wanted to push people to really think about what it means to eat meat, and so they slaughtered three goats at their annual Food Conference. You can read all about it here. People at Ohev who heard this story seemed morbidly fascinated, and we got into lengthy discussions about how Hazon could do something like this. The only logical response I could possibly think of was, 'We should try it here.' So that is exactly what we are going to do.

Now obviously, killing a goat would be cruel. Instead, we are going to slaughter a few chickens. As you know, we are about to begin working with a CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) called Red Rock
Farm. Even though we are primarily using the CSA for your run-of-the-mill farm items, e.g. vegetables, fruits, eggs, yogurt, and soda, they have graciously offered to provide us with three chickens for this once-in-a-lifetime experience! Isn't that great?? We haven't decided on a date yet, but it would seem most logical to combine it with our Bless the Pets event, sometime over the summer. It also occurred to me, as I was planning the event AND the subsequent menu, that we should combine it with a lesson about Ancient Israelite worship.

This week's Torah portion (didn't think I'd be making a link to our parashah, did you?) deals with the rituals of the High Priest and his sons. We never really  get an opportunity to  experience what this was all about, so when we undertake this highly-tasteful-and-not-at-all-inappropriate ritual slaughter, we are also going to bring back some of the rituals performed by the Kohanim in the Temple!
David Pollack and Ruth Kaplan, two congregants descended from the priestly tribe, have offered to officiate at this ceremony, which will take place in the synagogue parking lot (you'll understand why in just a minute...). It involves following the procedure described in Exodus, 29:20: "take some of its blood and put it on the ridge of Aaron's right ear and on the ridges of his sons' right ears, and on the thumbs of their right hands, and on the big toes of their right feet; and dash the rest of the blood against every side of the altar round about." I'm VERY excited about this plan! (Please note: Some of the blood might splatter, so make sure to bring a rain coat, and one that washes out tough stains easily...)

What a unique opportunity this will be for Ohev Shalom! We get to learn about the ancient, nitty-gritty rituals of our ancestors; we get to
eat a wonderful chicken dinner together; and we get to be sustainable and animal-friendly in the process. How could it get any better?? I am certain that you have many questions and one or two minor concerns, but primarily I'm sure you're just as THRILLED about this as I am. And I think you'll especially agree that this whole plan is particularly appropriate for this weekend's holiday celebration...

Happy Purim!!


Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of uncle.capung on Flickr
2. CC image courtesy of Muffet on Flickr
3. CC image courtesy of BarelyFitz on Flickr
4. CC image courtesy of fairfaxcounty on Flickr
5. Image courtesy of Rabbi Gerber's very confused iPhone... (Is that edible?) Chicken generously donated by Beverly Weiner, lovingly chosen from her flock for just this purpose.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Terumah: The Pattern of Holiness

"A picture is worth a thousand words." Familiar saying, right? The meaning of which is that you can describe something endlessly and try to convey all aspects of it, but ultimately a single picture could do 
a better job. A gorgeous sunset over a breathtaking valley; a child greeting a parent at the airport (especially after a military tour); the final 'out' when your team wins the World Series - how many of us wouldn't prefer to see it in just one image, rather than trying to read about it in a thousand, or more, words? Interestingly, the same seems to be true for Moses in the Torah.

This week, Moses is given the daunting task of starting to build God's Tabernacle. A sort of precursor to the eventual Temple in Jerusalem, it was a portable structure that the Israelites brought along throughout their Exodus from Egypt. A student of mine once
described it as a 'synagogue-on-the go.' And as God lists all the specific items that Moses must construct - the menorah, the ark, the lampstand, the curtain, etc. - God repeatedly reminds Moses to follow the instructions 'I have shown you.' Three times, God says this. Not 'as I have instructed,' or 'as I've requested,' but SHOWN. What does that mean? What did God provide for Moses on top of Mount Sinai to help clarify the precise look of this Tabernacle? Did Moses receive blueprints? I like to imagine a laser three-dimensional model, suspended in mid-air, straight out of the best science fiction movie! The great Torah commentator, Nahum Sarna, suggests also that it might be referring to God's Temple in heaven. The prophet Isaiah speaks of seeing a Divine Temple above in one of his visions, and many later rabbinic sources talk about there being a 'Temple on High' to mirror the Temple we constructed down below. So maybe Moses was offered a glimpse of the Big House 'upstairs,' though I can't even imagine how much MORE daunting it must now have seemed to try and recreate such a thing in the lowly desert...

But Sarna also suggests another possibility, echoed in the Torah commentary of Rabbi Matthew Berkowitz. God tells Moses to recreate the 'pattern' (tavnit) that has been shown to him. 'Tavnit' can also mean 'model' or 'image,' and both Sarna and Berkowitz imagine that God is modeling behavior, and asking Moses to imitate it
in the world below. Rabbi Berkowitz describes it as, 'a metaphor for bringing holiness and goodness into the world at large.' Which, of course, then begs the question, does that make it more or less daunting for Moses to have to recreate?? A picture may indeed be worth a thousand words, but what if we are meant to BE that picture? We, as human beings, are not just made in the image of God, we ARE that image, and we have to live our lives as such. 

Sadly, we see role models falling from grace every day. Inspirational athletes, political figures, and world leaders who disappoint us and reveal serious character flaws and poor judgment. Because it's hard to
be that 'tavnit'!! A single picture or a bunch of words might ultimately have been easier than being commanded to live a life of honesty, integrity, and kindness. But that is our task. That is what it means to be human, and to keep striving to be a better person. God has to remind Moses THREE times, because it's a lot to internalize. We cannot demand it of our leaders if we don't first model it ourselves. And to truly be a 'tavnit,' we must use all three - our words, our pictures, AND our behavior - to inspire and influence those around us. Let us all strive to make that the pattern of our lives.

Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of The National Guard on Flickr
2. CC image courtesy of Todd Ehlers on Flickr
3. CC image courtesy of indi.ca on Flickr
4. CC image courtesy of blprnt_van on Flickr

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Mishpatim: (Flexible) Rules to Live By

I'm back! After four weeks on paternity leave, I have returned to work at the synagogue. It's amazing how fast four weeks FLIES by. I find it difficult already, having to be away from my new daughter and my wife, but life has to be a balance, right? We cannot spend our lives on parental leave; it would most likely lose its appeal (I guess...). Perhaps the fact that it was just four, short weeks long is precisely what made it so precious, so special. But it's never easy when you have to change course so abruptly, and you feel yourself pulled in many conflicting directions.

Which leads me, perhaps not so surprisingly, to this week's Torah portion. It's called Mishpatim - meaning 'laws' - and it begins a new section of the Torah, where the narrative takes a back seat (fully strapped in, of course), and we begin to list all the commandments
that God has handed down to Moses. We learn about civil laws, liability laws, criminal laws, ritual laws, financial laws, and family laws. And quite frankly, it's a bit overwhelming. In this particular moment in my life, it reminds me of the tension and challenge of parenting. Lord knows, there are literally THOUSANDS of books out there about how to parent; and they all give conflicting advice. 'Make sure not to overfeed your child. But definitely don't underfeed either!! Give precisely enough, but every few days (or hours...) you need to increase that amount. Feed at precise times, but be flexible. Let your child guide the process, but establish a schedule and stick to it...' And so on, and so forth. It's all trying to be helpful, but it winds up making things more difficult and confusing. 

So who are we supposed to listen to? And how do we know when we've done the 'right' thing? This is true for both parenting and the laws of the Torah. Our commandments can be confusing as well. The rabbis pose a dilemma, asking what a child should do if his/her parent asks the child to steal. 
On the one hand, obeying our parents is one of the Ten Commandments. But on the other, so is the prohibition against stealing. Or what happens when the Torah tells us to preserve life above everything else, but then instructs us to stone to death a stubborn and rebellious child??? I think both the Jewish mitzvot and the 'commandments' of parenting come with a VERY steep learning curve. And they also require some trial and error. How will you know what your standard of keeping Kosher will be, if you haven't experimented with it, tested it, pushed its boundaries, and challenged yourself to be more observant? 

I suppose one of the main realizations I've come to - regarding both Judaism and my new-found career as a father - is that there's a lot of on-the-job training. You learn as you go. As long as you insist that it's
a theoretical issue, you're never going to learn as much as you would 'down in the trenches.' Jump in, get your hands dirty, and see what it feels like. We learn so much more through DOING than we do through just thinking or talking. A good friend recently put my mind at ease about all the mistakes I'm probably making with my child. He said, 'by now, four weeks in, I have no doubt that you and your wife are the foremost experts on YOUR child.' I certainly don't feel like much of an expert, but I'm definitely learning. And I'm doing my best not to feel overwhelmed. 

As I look at this week's parashah, I'm beginning to realize that the same is true for Judaism as well. I'm not an expert (but don't tell my congregants...), and I'm constantly learning. I've just been doing this for a bit longer than I have parenting. Sometimes the learning curve still feels pretty steep though...


Photos in this blog post:

1. Image courtesy of Caroline Dena Gerber, almost fully strapped into her car seat.

2.CC image courtesy of glen edelson on Flickr

3. CC image courtesy of Timitrius on Flickr

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