In this, my 609th blog post, I would like to issue a disclaimer: I am only responsible for the ideas and the content of these blog posts. If you, the reader(s) decide to interpret/infer/deduce/conclude/assume/extrapolate something from what I’ve written, well, then I say that’s on you! I just created this forum, wrote the blog posts for 12 years, came up with the topics on which to write, and then put those concepts into sentences. I shouldn’t be held responsible for what anyone thinks or determines based on what they read here, right?? I mean, I’m not suggesting that I don’t take responsibility for what I’ve written... but am I really the one responsible? Furthermore, I know it is important to accept the consequences of our actions, and to acknowledge our own role in how things happened the way they did... but I didn’t DO anything, there shouldn’t be consequences, and if anything happened as a result, I played no role in any of it. Ok, I’m glad we got that disclaimer out of the way. Because, let’s face it, if GOD doesn’t feel the need to take responsibility for the Israelites wandering through the desert, why shouldn’t I be able to act that way too???
You see, in our peculiar Torah portion, that is exactly what happens. You are perhaps already familiar with the details of the Golden Calf “incident,” in which the Israelites built an idol to either replace God or just serve as a worshipable (it’s a word!) (And if it isn’t, it’s not my fault...) intermediary for the Divine. It doesn’t go well. God is furious, Moses smashes the Ten Commandments, and Aaron acted either as an accomplice to, or an enabler of the people. Yet I think one of the saddest realizations that we all get from the text, and which I strongly feel is a central lesson we’re meant to take from this episode, is about taking responsibility. Is it easy to do? No. And maybe showing us that the Bible’s highest officials ALSO struggled to accept culpability, is an admission to us all that it was tough then, and it’s tough now. But I still say we HAVE TO learn to do it.
I will say this: I think our reading shows us two ways to deflect and deny responsibility... and one way to really own it and be present to it. Let’s start with the less-great examples. When Moses is up on the mountain, God says to him: “Hurry down, for YOUR people, whom YOU brought out of the land of Egypt, are acting terribly.” (Ex. 32:7) Far be it from me to criticize God... but this sure sounds an awful lot like when a parent comes home from work and the other parent says, “Do you know what YOUR child did in school today???” Second, when Moses comes down from the mountain and smashes the tablets, he turns to Aaron and asks, “how could you do this?” And Aaron’s ‘who me?’ excuse is: “they gave [their gold] to me, I hurled it into the fire, and out came this calf!!” (32:24) I mean, how could ANYONE suggest it was Aaron’s fault, when a fully-formed golden idol just came sashaying out of the fire???
But Moses actually salvages this whole debacle for us. He first pleads with God not to destroy them, then later, when he returns back to Mount Sinai after having put the kibosh on their idol-worship-party, Moses again begs God to take them back. Moses leads by example and he leads with authority. I’m sure that was not easy. I imagine it was scary (especially confronting his own older brother...), painful, and infuriating. But there simply was *no* choice here. Were Moses to have joined in with all the finger-pointing, we might still be wandering in the desert to this day! So contrary to my disclaimer above, I actually DO take responsibility for what I say here, and I DO feel awed and humbled by the task of bringing Torah to other people. Our words matter; as much as, and sometimes even more than, our actions. We are all part of the systems that swirl around us - whether our families, our congregations, our local communities, or even broader networks. WHEN (not if) we take responsibility for our own role in the bigger picture, and we lead by example, we can truly affect change all around us. Avoid the urge to say “it wasn’t my fault!,” and to quickly find someone ELSE to blame. The shekel stops here. Say it with me: It stops with me.
CC images in this blog post, courtesy of:
1. Rabbi Gerber's iPhone
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