Well, we made it to April, and a change in season is upon us! The current Jewish year, 5779, included a leap month, which pushed all the holidays later than usual. Even so, Pesach is around the corner, and I’ve got Seders on the brain… And I know they can be overwhelming, formal, chaotic, stressful, endless, and droning. Or, if you’re REALLY unlucky, all of the above. I’d like to offer a brief intention, a kavannah, for the holiday, but then also transition to talking about something entirely different. (But related, I promise!)
You can actually boil the entire Seder into a single sentence, believe it or not. It’s one you might not even spend too much time on at your own Seder table, but I wish more people would dwell on it a bit longer. In the “Maggid” section of the Haggadah, after we’ve reviewed all the 4s and the 10s (children, questions, cups, plagues, etc.), most books include some version of the following sentence: “In every generation, each person is obligated to view him/herself as if s/he left Egypt.” To me, this is the epicenter of the holiday. It’s not an ancient tale of a mythical drama that our ancestors experienced. We put ourselves INTO this story! All of us! And anything you can do to help the story come alive at your Seder table is terrific, and HIGHLY encouraged.
More than just being the focal point of Pesach, this concept is truly the secret to the longevity of our Jewish people. Keeping our history with us, but also seeing ourselves and our own stories as VITAL to that history, that has kept us alive! We cannot forget or dismiss what came before… but it needs constant updating to remain relevant and meaningful. Both values must be held in balance at all times. So what does that look like?
Here’s where I want to make a sharp pivot. How do we, as Jews, remember? I believe we have to start with personal, family memories. Many of us know that there’s a service on Yom Kippur that’s all about memory, called Yizkor. We sing psalms together, recall loved ones, and stand in silence for individual prayers. But the Yizkor service ACTUALLY occurs three more times every year! The three pilgrimage festivals – Shavuot, Sukkot, and yes, Pesach – all include a Yizkor service just like the one we chant on Yom Kippur. I wonder if more people might attend, if they only knew it was taking place? Please let me know if you’d like more info.
There is also a tradition of remembering a special deceased relative on the annual date of their death, called Yahrzeit. Many who observe a Yahrzeit will light a memorial candle (we have them in the Ohev office), perhaps make a donation in memory of the person to a charity that was meaningful to them, and then also come to a morning minyan to recite the Mourner’s Kaddish. Again, I don’t know how many people are aware of this custom. If you come for minyan on a day when we read Torah, I can also recite a special prayer of commemoration, called the Eil Malei Rachamim. If you’ve never experimented with this ritual, I encourage you to try it. It can be very meaningful and spiritual. It connects you to your personal heritage, while also grounding you in the life of your community.
As Jews, we remember. It is a source of tremendous strength and power for us. It is the heart of our Passover celebration, where we don’t just recall what was, but we link it to our own lives and our own experiences in a very profound way. I invite you to think about this mitzvah as you prepare for your Seder. And I also encourage you to consider bringing memory into other parts of your life, including the Yizkor and Yahrzeit traditions.
Many people simply don’t know that these traditions and rituals exist. I hope that this article will inspire you to learn more, come to a service, and find a new way to remember a deceased family member. Don’t forget!
Sincerely,
Rabbi Gerber
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