Unfortunately, they can also take place in times of sadness or even tragedy, and this was the case for me this week. I officiated at the funeral of a 48-year old woman who died very tragically. It was not a heart attack, stroke, or cancer, but an illness nonetheless, and one that we often struggle to talk about. I had officiated at her son's Bar Mitzvah a few years back, so I felt a connection to the family, and I felt personally impacted by her passing. Death plays a role - albeit subtle - in this week's parashah as well, and it has left me feeling quite reflective.
Our Torah portion is called "Acharei Mot," which literally means, "After the deaths of..." The reading begins by reminding us of the untimely deaths of Aaron's two sons, Nadav and Avihu, which we had already
heard about weeks earlier, in Leviticus, chapter 10. It is odd that the Torah chooses to remind us of this incident, and to do so right here, because the rest of our reading has nothing (directly) to do with their deaths. That's why I say it's subtle. It's a stark reminder to us all that death has a lasting impact, it never disappears altogether. Our parashah mainly focuses on laws pertaining to the priesthood, and yet because of those two little words, Acharei Mot, we all feel the dark shadow of that terrible incident looming large over the rest of the reading, and specifically over the High Priest (and father of the deceased boys), Aaron. Here's how I imagine we might read excerpts from the text (with my own nagging thoughts in parentheses):
16:4 - "Aaron shall be dressed in a sacral linen tunic..." (My God, his two sons just died!)
16:6 - "Aaron is to offer his own bull of purification offering... () (I wonder how he's feeling. Is he able to concentrate on his work? Should he have taken a few more days off??)
16:23 - "And Aaron shall go into the Tent of Meeting, take off the linen vestments that he put on when he entered the Shrine, and leave them there..." (Does he cry in there when he's alone? How does he feel about God in those quiet moments in the tent?)
Our Torah reading never directly addresses the deaths of Avihu and Nadav, but it seems to me it MUST be the 600-pound gorilla in the shrine! And so it is for many of us. Death lingers. We learn to live with it, the pain feels a little less raw, but it does not vanish entirely.
These two words become a lasting question - but also a challenge that we each must answer: What, indeed, does come "Acharei Mot," "after death"? My answer is, "U'vacharta ba-Chayim" - "Choose life!" This is a consistent theme throughout the entire Torah, and it is summed up succinctly at the end of Deuteronomy: "Choose life!" (30:19) On an average day, this seems pretty easy. But Acharei Mot, after death, that is when we have to make a conscious, deliberate, and sometimes painful effort to choose life. We do so without trying to deny the hurt, or pretend we're totally fine. "Acharei Mot" may still be rattling around in our heads and in our hearts, but we choose to move forward regardless. This is the message of the Torah, it is the message of Aaron, the High Priest, and even in tough moments of untimely deaths, it is a message we still must take to heart today.
Photos in this blog post:
1. CC image courtesy of Anagoria on Wikimedia Commons
2. CC image courtesy of SteinsplitterBot on Wikimedia Commons
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