Shemini: Organizing an Uncomfortable Service

Rituals are tricky. On the one hand, the Torah is explicitly clear about how to do certain things, like in this week's Torah portion, where Aaron and the Temple priests are given CLEAR instructions on how to offer sacrifices to God. And yet, I wonder if every High Priest after Aaron did it in EXACTLY the same way. 'Well, the Torah gives precise directions,' you might say. 'Why would any later priest do it any differently?!?' 

So that's where I come back to my original statement: Rituals are tricky. We aren't very good at doing the SAME thing, every time. Or the SAME thing as our parents, grandparents, and ancestors did. Or even the SAME thing as our neighbor does, our rabbi tells us, or our teachers instruct us. Rituals evolve, change, and shift. My guess is, the practices of the priests developed over time, just as everything else does. If, for example, I asked you what typifies a Passover Seder (I wonder why Pesach is on my mind right now...), I'm sure each one of you reading this would tell me the essential parts that HAVE TO be included, or it just wouldn't feel like a Seder... and you'd each describe different rituals! And what one person considers non-negotiable is wholly expendable to another. So you see? Rituals are tricky.

I like to say to people at Ohev Shalom that the phrase 'organized religion' strikes me sometimes as an oxymoron. 'Religion' is so incredibly personal; it's YOUR own connection to God, heritage, tradition, and yes, 

 ritual. And when we 'organize' it, we try to create one standard that works for an entire community, and that's tough to do. And yet, that's what churches, synagogues, and mosques are all about. So even though we each value different parts of the Passover rituals, when we come together for a communal Seder, we need to find common ground, try to include as many of the 'classic' Seder parts as possible, and make sure that SOMETHING speaks to each participant. And make it meaningful for everyone. Oh, and by the way, come to our Ohev Second Seder on April 15th! 

I wanted to focus this blog post on ritual and the challenge of negotiating our differences, because an interesting situation occurred at Ohev Shalom earlier this week. We were visited by a gentleman who was staying in our area for a couple of days, while working at a local hospital. He was hoping to say Kaddish for 

his mother, who had passed away many years earlier, and was looking for a minyan. He was, however, Orthodox, and not comfortable praying with an egalitarian, Conservative group. So, that morning, he prayed alone outside our chapel. But after services, he asked me if we could make an all-male minyan for Mincha (the afternoon service) to allow him to say Kaddish later in the day. I debated this back and forth for a long time. Yes, I could have sent him elsewhere, though our area has no Orthodox minyanim close enough for him to get there and back during the workday. And I could have insisted he conform to our rituals and our standards or take his business elsewhere. But in the end, even though it strongly went against my personal, theological, and RITUAL standards, I decided to help this man make a 'traditional' minyan. 

To be totally honest with you, during, and after, the service itself, I continued to feel conflicted about it. It did NOT feel like an Ohev service. Having women even in the room would have made him uncomfortable, so if a female congregant had stopped by, could I have asked her to leave?!? And yet, ultimately, I am glad that I made this happen. It was a win for the concept of 'Klal Yisrael,' the 'community of 

Israel,' the togetherness of our people - the 'organized' part of 'organized religion.' Sometimes we make concessions to create unity. Congregations around the world all run their services differently. Some of our rituals and practices are VASTLY different. But if we, the Jewish People, are going to make this work, if we're going to continue to be the bearers of Moses' and Aaron's legacy for another couple thousand years, we've got to find ways to combine our personal 'religion' with the 'organization' of our people everywhere. It sometimes still feels like an oxymoron. But then, all of a sudden, putting together a 20-minute service to help a visitor, far away from his home and his community, trying to pay tribute to his late mother, makes everything feel just a little less 'moronic.'

Photos in this blog post:

1. CC image courtesy of Dauster on Wikimedia Commons

2. CC image courtesy of דרור אבי on Wikimedia Commons

3. CC image courtesy of Vert on Wikimedia Commons

4. CC image of the mechitza, partition, at the Western Wall courtesy of Juan Reyero on Wikimedia Commons