It's hard to know what we're capable of doing. We often imagine that we know ourselves better than anyone else ever could, and if we say that a task is impossible, it truly is IMPOSSIBLE. And yet, we surprise
ourselves all the time. We lose weight we never thought we could; we climb mountains (literally and figuratively) that once seemed thoroughly insurmountable; we finish courses of study that we thought we'd never even start; and we learn Hebrew, lead services, chant from the Torah, and even give sermons, when once we held the prayer book upside down for an entire service. How does this happen? And why does it seem to surprise us EVERY time?
This week, we begin the fifth and final book of the Torah, Deuteronomy. It is, in fact, Moses' Swan Song; consisting almost entirely of one, long soliloquy by Moses, filled with laws, warnings, pleadings, and advice for the people he's lead for 40 years to the border of the Promised Land.
In Hebrew, this book is called Devarim, which we translate as 'words.' It is a truly wonderful title for this particular composition, considering that back in Exodus when God first tried to appoint Moses as the prophet to lead the people out of slavery, one of Moses' main objections was that he wasn't 'a man of words.' Forty years later, the guy can't STOP talking! I guess that's what happens when you spend four decades in a tough leadership role.
However, there's something else interesting going on here as well. Like all of us today, Moses actually had it in him all along. He didn't need to endure the endless travails of the exodus to find his voice, it was something he was capable of doing
right at the outset. He just didn't believe in himself. In a Torah commentary by Maureen Kendler, she points out that even way back at the start, by the burning bush, Moses said to God: "lo ish devarim anochi, gam mitmol gam mishilshom gam mei-az daberchah el avdechah - I am not a man of words, neither yesterday nor the day before - nor since You first spoke to Your servant!" That's a pretty eloquent and beautiful way to phrase an objection, isn't it? Pretty odd for someone who supposedly doesn't have a way with words... Kendler summarizes it for us: "His expressive answer somewhat undermines his own case."
And it ain't just true for Moses! Yes, we sometimes learn new skills. We find fresh motivation and we gradually build up to a level that was once unimaginable. But the spark, the seed, the impetus for our great achievements; they were in us 'gam mitmol, gam mishilshom - yesterday and the day before that.' Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'Do one
thing every day that scares you.' Part of what I hear in that wonderful quote is, you don't know yourself entirely yet, and you don't know the limits of your true potential. You might THINK it took Moses forty years to figure that out for himself, but Exodus reminds us that it was there pretty early on. And I would venture to say that by the time he bested Pharaoh, he knew he could do more than he'd first imagined. It's an important reminder to us all; never let words keep us from reaching for new heights and new achievements; not words from someone else, and definitely not our own words either. And if that sounds a little scary to you, well maybe that's the whole idea.
Photos in this blog post:
No comments:
Post a Comment