B'Midbar: For Carrie

You know how some people have kids, and then that’s all they can ever talk about? It’s so annoying. And it’s true for rabbis and people who write blogs as well, and so I SWORE to myself that I wouldn't be one of those people! My daughter was born four months ago, and sure, my wife and I obsess over her every move and think each one is the most amazing thing that’s ever happened in human history; but who else wants to hear about such silliness? And that is why I am fully aware of the hypocrisy in my writing about my daughter in this week’s blog post.

But in my defense, I couldn’t help it! Our Torah portion, B’midbar, talks about babies, but manages to make some troubling assertions. These would have bothered me before (and did!), but I guess they just hit me harder than they have in previous years. It's also true, however, that 

it’s ALWAYS been incredibly infuriating that the Torah goes out of its way to insist that we’re talking about MALE children; females definitely and unequivocally don’t matter at all. And in the Book of Numbers, chapter 3, verse 15, we are told that the Levitical priests are counted, “from the age of one month up.” So what then of newborn babies BEFORE they are one month old? Don’t they yet count as human beings? Obviously, this sounds horrific to the modern reader. It is, however, important to see it in the context of the ancient world. Infant mortality was unimaginably high, and it would have been too painful to endure full burial practices and the recitation of Kaddish for EVERY infant that died before, during, or soon after birth.

It’s just that I can’t read these texts the same way anymore. Now that I have a daughter of my own, the constant references to the singularity of male children stings even more. And having watched a baby be born, then having sat up with her for endless nights, and now dedicating my life to helping this tiny, struggling personality discover its place in the world; it is unthinkable to me that she could ever not be considered a human being. And the text goes on to say that all firstborn children belong to God: “Every first-born is Mine. At the time that I smote every first-born in the land of Egypt, I consecrated every first-born in Israel, human and beast, to Myself, to be Mine, the Lord’s” (Numbers 3:13). What do we make of that? Especially since the beasts in question are sacrificed to God as a ritual offering!! The rabbis explain that the first-born children were originally consecrated to service, to serve God as priests in the Temple. So no killing. Later on, they created a redeeming ritual, called Pidyon Ha-Ben (still used in some communities to this day), which enables parents to ‘buy back’ their child, and pay the priests to serve in the Temple in their stead. 

So what is the take-away from all of this? Gratitude. When we remind ourselves of the infant mortality we all had to suffer at one point in our history; when we recall the devastation 

of the tenth plague in Egypt; when we try NOT to think about the practice of child sacrifice among the heathens surrounding Israel; and when we pay a small amount (as if raising children doesn’t already cost enough…) as a gift of thanksgiving to God – all of this reminds us of how precious life really is. On this weekend of Mother’s Day, hug someone you love. Child, parent, sibling, friend, partner, spouse, it doesn’t matter. Remember that life is fragile, and life is precious. Every day we should give thanks for the people who bless our lives and make it all worthwhile.

And yes, as sappy and annoying as it may be, I dedicate this post to the newest shining little light in my life; my daughter, Caroline.

Photos in this blog post:

1. Image courtesy of Caroline Gerber and her rockin' sun hat!

2. Image courtesy of Caroline Gerber in a sleepsack from grandma.