Vayishlach: A Precious, Tough Conversation

How do we prepare for a worst-case scenario? It's very hard, sometimes unimaginable, to picture how we might respond to a

disaster or a tragedy. This question comes up in our Torah portion, but it is also very present all around us today. Our region, thank God, was overwhelmingly spared the wrath of Hurricane Sandy. But how did people, living along the coast, prepare for it? How did they make the tough decisions about what to bring and what to leave behind? This is not just a Biblical question, or an ancient one, but a question many of us are forced to ask right now, in our own lives, and at a moment's notice.

Recently I was reading a D'var Torah by Rabbi Ilana Grinblat, in which she addresses the challenge of explaining the current conflict in Israel to her young children. As delicately as possible, she speaks of fighting and rockets, and when her children inevitably ask her, "Are rockets going to fall here?," 

she remarks to us, the readers, "I thought of my cousins and friends in Israel who aren't able to offer their children... an unequivocal reassurance of their safety." What a poignant, yet terrifying, observation! How would I answer my child if indeed we were living in harm's way? What an impossible conversation to have to have; yet at this very moment, on both sides of the divide, parents are forced to reassure children without any real certainty behind their promises.

This week, we read about our ancestor Jacob, preparing for the possibility that his brother, Esau, is bringing an army to kill him. I've often written about Jacob's three strategies of preparation: 

1) Sending gifts to placate his brother, 2) Praying to God for help, and 3) Dividing his camp in half so that some will escape, should disaster strike the others. But I've never before imagined Jacob's conversation with his wives and children, as he tries to explain to them why they're fleeing. What did he say? What COULD he say? Did he lie and reassure them, all the while knowing they might be in grave danger, or did he try to explain, delicately, what was really going on? Either way, how painful for a parent to have to address such things with small children.

We don't like to think about these questions. One of the Bible's most brilliant tactics is to force us to engage with questions that are SO crucial, but which we often try our hardest to neglect. What would you say, if you were Jacob? Or living in rocket-range in Israel, or leaving your coastal home before an oncoming storm? And what are

the items, mementos, and trinkets that are invaluable, that could never be replaced in your life? We should really use every moment, EVERY opportunity to remind ourselves what matters most. It may help us in a moment of panic and confusion, but it will also teach us gratitude and tremendous appreciation for what we have. Ask yourself the tough questions today. It may save your life someday, but it will also remind you to love life right now. A small price to pay for a tough conversation.

Photos in this blog post:

1. CC image courtesy david_shankbone on Flickr

2.CC image courtesy of jurvetson on Flickr

3. CC image courtesy of asenat29 on Flickr

4. CC image courtesy of Schmeegan on Flickr